{"id":1486,"date":"2022-12-11T12:05:34","date_gmt":"2022-12-11T12:05:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/effctbttrfly.az\/?p=1486"},"modified":"2022-12-11T12:27:06","modified_gmt":"2022-12-11T12:27:06","slug":"30-yasli-x%c9%99dic%c9%99","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/khadijazade.com\/?p=1486","title":{"rendered":"30 ya\u015fl\u0131 X\u0259dic\u0259"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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30 ya\u015fl\u0131 X\u0259dic\u0259<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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H\u0259yat onu ya\u015famas\u0131n\u0131 bil\u0259nl\u0259r \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn h\u0259diy\u0259dir
Dark k\/f<\/blockquote>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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Bu g\u00fcn m\u0259nim n\u0259 az, n\u0259 \u00e7ox d\u00fcz 30 ya\u015f\u0131m tamam olur. Nec\u0259 dey\u0259rl\u0259r, bir igidin \u00f6mr\u00fc.. Bir vaxtlar buruq sa\u00e7l\u0131, yumru sif\u0259t, balaca q\u0131z idim. \u0130ndi b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m. \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259 ki, asan deyildi b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u0259k. C\u0259nn\u0259tl\u0259 c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m aras\u0131ndak\u0131 araf misal\u0131 \u00f6z x\u0259yal d\u00fcnyamla reall\u0131q aras\u0131nda ili\u015fib qal\u0131rd\u0131m b\u0259z\u0259n..<\/span><\/p>

El\u0259 qorxurdum ki, h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131n he\u00e7 bir anlam ifad\u0259 etm\u0259m\u0259sind\u0259n. Bir g\u00fcn bu d\u00fcnyadan k\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcb ged\u0259nd\u0259 geriy\u0259 bax\u0131b heyfsl\u0259nm\u0259kd\u0259n, x\u0259yallar\u0131m\u0131 ger\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259\u015fdir\u0259 bilm\u0259m\u0259kd\u0259n, doya-doya ya\u015faya bilm\u0259m\u0259kd\u0259n el\u0259 qorxurdum ki.. He\u00e7 susmayan beynimin m\u0259nal\u0131-m\u0259nas\u0131z yaratd\u0131\u011f\u0131 suallara cavab tapa bilm\u0259m\u0259k qorxumu daha da art\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. M\u0259n \u00f6z qorxular\u0131mla \u0259ll\u0259\u015f\u0259rk\u0259n h\u0259yat da \u00f6z axar\u0131 il\u0259 gedirdi. H\u0259yat b\u0259z\u0259n yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn olsa bel\u0259 biz\u0259 q\u0259ddar davran\u0131r. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259 h\u0259yata hirsl\u0259ndiyim, \u00fcsyan etdiyim zamanlar \u00e7ox olub. Balaca, buruq sa\u00e7l\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131 bilinm\u0259zliyin, suallar\u0131n i\u00e7in\u0259 atd\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn az k\u00fcsm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m h\u0259yatdan. Amma sonsuza q\u0259d\u0259r balaca qala bilm\u0259zdim, el\u0259 deyil? H\u0259yatda d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259y\u0259n he\u00e7 n\u0259 yoxdur. Zamanla anlad\u0131m ki, h\u0259yat\u0131n m\u0259nd\u0259n \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck g\u00f6zl\u0259ntisi m\u0259hz el\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259yimdir. D\u0259yi\u015f\u0259r\u0259k b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fcm. G\u00f6rd\u00fcm ki, \u0259slind\u0259 el\u0259 h\u0259r an\u0131m\u0131n bir anlam\u0131 varm\u0131\u015f. \u018fslind\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131n m\u0259niml\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn \u201cd\u0259rdi\u201d m\u0259n\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc tapmaqda k\u00f6m\u0259k etm\u0259k imi\u015f. H\u0259r ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m m\u0259n\u0259 t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259 qazand\u0131r\u0131r, n\u0259l\u0259rs\u0259 \u00f6yr\u0259dirmi\u015f.<\/span><\/p>

\u00c7ox g\u00fcld\u00fcm, \u00e7ox a\u011flad\u0131m, b\u0259z\u0259n incitdim, \u0259n \u00e7ox da \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc. U\u011fur qazand\u0131\u011f\u0131m da oldu, verdiyim s\u00f6zl\u0259ri tutmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m da. \u0130st\u0259diyimi \u0259ld\u0259 etm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259rid\u0259n-qab\u0131qdan da \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m, etm\u0259li oldu\u011fum i\u015fl\u0259r \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn barma\u011f\u0131m\u0131 t\u0259rp\u0259tm\u0259d\u0259n b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn yatd\u0131\u011f\u0131m g\u00fcnl\u0259r d\u0259 oldu. B\u0259z\u0259n bacard\u0131m, b\u0259z\u0259n h\u0259r \u015feyi \u0259lim\u0259-\u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 bula\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131m. Amma ya\u015fad\u0131m. Pisi il\u0259, yax\u015f\u0131s\u0131 il\u0259. H\u0259yat\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 ilikl\u0259rim\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r hiss etdim. H\u0259m xarici g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm, h\u0259m daxili ail\u0259mim f\u0259rqli cizgil\u0259r\u0259, r\u0259ngl\u0259r\u0259 b\u00fcr\u00fcnd\u00fc. B\u0259z\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7ox amans\u0131z oldum. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc b\u0259y\u0259nm\u0259dim, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 yet\u0259ri q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259y\u0259r verm\u0259dim. Sonda h\u0259yat m\u0259n\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc h\u0259r hal\u0131mla, oldu\u011fum kimi sevm\u0259yi d\u0259 \u00f6yr\u0259tdi. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 \u00e7ox \u015f\u00fck\u00fcrl\u00fcy\u0259m. M\u0259ni se\u00e7diyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, b\u00f6y\u00fctd\u00fcy\u00fc \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, ya\u015fatd\u0131\u011f\u0131 h\u0259r \u015fey \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn h\u0259yat\u0131ma minn\u0259tdaram. Yax\u015f\u0131 ki do\u011fulmu\u015fam. Yax\u015f\u0131 ki ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fam. Yax\u015f\u0131 ki bu h\u0259yat\u0131 ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fam. El\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l xatir\u0259l\u0259rim var ki. El\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l insanlar tan\u0131d\u0131m ki. O q\u0259d\u0259r arzum realla\u015fd\u0131 ki. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u0259 indiy\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r oldu\u011fu kimi bundan sonra da b\u00fct\u00fcn x\u0259yallar\u0131m\u0131n ger\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259\u015fm\u0259sini arzulay\u0131ram. Bundan sonras\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259 Tanr\u0131dan sa\u011flam, huzurlu, anlaml\u0131 h\u0259yat dil\u0259yir\u0259m.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Xo\u015f g\u0259ldin 30 ya\u015f\u0131m! \u00d6z\u00fcnl\u0259 birlikd\u0259 xo\u015fluqlar, g\u00f6z\u0259llikl\u0259r v\u0259 \u015fans g\u0259tir \ud83d\ude42<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bu g\u00fcn m\u0259nim n\u0259 az, n\u0259 \u00e7ox d\u00fcz 30 ya\u015f\u0131m tamam olur. Nec\u0259 dey\u0259rl\u0259r, bir igidin \u00f6mr\u00fc.. Bir vaxtlar buruq sa\u00e7l\u0131, yumru sif\u0259t, balaca q\u0131z idim. \u0130ndi b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1487,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1486","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry","has-media"],"yoast_head":"\n30 ya\u015fl\u0131 X\u0259dic\u0259 | Khadija Zade<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Bu g\u00fcn m\u0259nim n\u0259 az, n\u0259 \u00e7ox d\u00fcz 30 ya\u015f\u0131m tamam olur. Nec\u0259 dey\u0259rl\u0259r, bir igidin \u00f6mr\u00fc.. Bir vaxtlar buruq sa\u00e7l\u0131, yumru sif\u0259t, balaca q\u0131z idim. \u0130ndi b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m..\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/khadijazade.com\/?p=1486\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"30 ya\u015fl\u0131 X\u0259dic\u0259 | Khadija Zade\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Bu g\u00fcn m\u0259nim n\u0259 az, n\u0259 \u00e7ox d\u00fcz 30 ya\u015f\u0131m tamam olur. Nec\u0259 dey\u0259rl\u0259r, bir igidin \u00f6mr\u00fc.. 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