{"id":1550,"date":"2023-08-23T08:04:38","date_gmt":"2023-08-23T08:04:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/effctbttrfly.az\/?p=1550"},"modified":"2023-08-23T18:42:52","modified_gmt":"2023-08-23T18:42:52","slug":"vaz-kecdim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/khadijazade.com\/?p=1550","title":{"rendered":"Vaz ke\u00e7dim"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Vaz ke\u00e7dim<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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\u0130ll\u0259r sonra \u00f6yr\u0259ndim ki, q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131b-ba\u011f\u0131rma\u011fa g\u0259r\u0259k yoxdu. E\u015fitm\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259n\u0259 bir f\u0131s\u0131lt\u0131n yet\u0259r

Farid Farjad <\/blockquote>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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\u018fslind\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey sa\u00e7\u0131mla ba\u015flad\u0131.. Buruq sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131 ill\u0259rdir ya d\u00fczl\u0259\u015fdirir ya da d\u00fczl\u0259\u015fdirib yenid\u0259n bururdum. M\u0259qs\u0259d s\u0259liq\u0259li g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259si idi (!). Bu da azm\u0131\u015f kimi soyuq v\u0259 amans\u0131z qay\u00e7\u0131 il\u0259 sa\u00e7\u0131ma min-bir \u0259ziyy\u0259t verirdim.. Uzun sa\u00e7\u0131m\u0131 q\u0131sald\u0131rd\u0131m, q\u0131saldanda da uzun sa\u00e7lar\u0131m qay\u0131ts\u0131n ist\u0259yirdim. G\u00fcnl\u0259rin bir g\u00fcn\u00fc yen\u0259 q\u0131sa sa\u00e7 e\u015fqin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm. \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259 ki, o h\u0259v\u0259sl\u0259 xeyli q\u0131sa k\u0259sim etdim. Zamanla g\u00f6rd\u00fcm ki, sa\u00e7lar\u0131m he\u00e7 uzanm\u0131r, aylarla dem\u0259k olar ki, eyni uzunluqda qal\u0131r. Dey\u0259s\u0259n, yaz\u0131q sa\u00e7lar\u0131m bezmi\u015fdi \u0259limd\u0259n v\u0259 k\u00fcsm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc m\u0259n\u0259.. Son zamanlar xeyli cans\u0131zla\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 da. Dey\u0259s\u0259n, onun t\u0259bi\u0259tini korlad\u0131\u011f\u0131ma g\u00f6r\u0259, onu he\u00e7 ist\u0259m\u0259diyi formalara sald\u0131\u011f\u0131ma g\u00f6r\u0259 incimi\u015fdi m\u0259nd\u0259n.. \u018ftrafda ba\u015f ver\u0259n h\u0259r \u015feyi bir-biril\u0259 \u0259laq\u0259l\u0259ndirm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7ox b\u00f6y\u00fck mara\u011f\u0131 olan beynim sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131n uzanmamas\u0131ndan da bir \u0259laq\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xartm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 \u2013 b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 b\u0259zi \u015feyl\u0259ri he\u00e7 d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259m\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131.. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 b\u0259zi \u015feyl\u0259r oldu\u011fu kimi qalmal\u0131d\u0131.. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 b\u0259zi \u015feyl\u0259ri d\u0259yi\u015fdirm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaqdan vaz ke\u00e7m\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131. M\u0259n d\u0259 beynimin bu analizini d\u0259y\u0259rl\u0259ndirdim. V\u0259 vaz ke\u00e7dim:<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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  • \u0130lk \u00f6nc\u0259 sa\u00e7\u0131m\u0131 onun t\u0259bi\u0259tind\u0259 olmayan formalara salmaqdan. \u00d6z hal\u0131na buraxd\u0131m onu. Azad etdim.. Sa\u00e7\u0131m\u0131 da, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc d\u0259 beynimd\u0259 qurdu\u011fum \u201cancaq saatlarla d\u00fczl\u0259\u015fdiril\u0259n ya da burulan sa\u00e7 g\u00f6z\u0259ldir\u201d q\u0259libind\u0259n azad etdim. Bir az gec oldu amma f\u0259rqin\u0259 vard\u0131m ki, sa\u00e7lar\u0131m el\u0259 oldu\u011fu hal\u0131 il\u0259 d\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259ldir;<\/li>
  • Sevdiyim v\u0259 ya etm\u0259li oldu\u011fum \u015feyl\u0259ri etm\u0259yi t\u0259xir\u0259 salmaqdan. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 minl\u0259rl\u0259 insan\u0131n g\u0259ldiyi n\u00f6qt\u0259y\u0259 m\u0259n d\u0259 g\u0259ldim \u2013 \u201cbu g\u00fcn ed\u0259r\u0259m, sabah ed\u0259r\u0259m, o biri g\u00fcn ed\u0259r\u0259m\u201d dedikl\u0259rim\u0259 he\u00e7 vaxt s\u0131ra g\u0259lmir. Sad\u0259c\u0259 bu an var.. Beyhud\u0259 h\u0259yat ke\u00e7irtm\u0259k insan\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 etdiyi \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck pislikdir. S\u00f6z\u00fcn \u0259sl m\u0259nas\u0131nda ruhumu dinc\u0259ld\u0259n, eyni zamanda \u0259ziyy\u0259tli bel\u0259 olsa m\u0259suliyy\u0259tini da\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u015fl\u0259ri g\u00f6rm\u0259k el\u0259 bir n\u00f6v \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 verdiyim d\u0259y\u0259rdi;<\/li>
  • Qula\u011f\u0131n\u0131n dibind\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rsam bel\u0259 he\u00e7 vaxt s\u0259simi duymayacaq insanlara n\u0259l\u0259ris\u0259 anlatmaqdan.. B\u0259zi insanlar t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf ki, he\u00e7 g\u00f6rm\u0259m\u0259yi, he\u00e7 anlamama\u011f\u0131 se\u00e7ir. Bu halda edil\u0259c\u0259k bir \u015feyin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 q\u0259bul etdim;<\/li>
  • \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc ba\u015fqalar\u0131 il\u0259 m\u00fcqayis\u0259 etm\u0259kd\u0259n.. Bunu k\u00f6k\u00fc gedib ta u\u015faql\u0131\u011fa dayan\u0131r v\u0259 mental sa\u011flaml\u0131q \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7ox t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259li hald\u0131r. \u0130nsanlar\u0131 m\u00fc\u015fahid\u0259 etdikc\u0259, oxuduqca, ya\u015fad\u0131qca anlad\u0131m ki, ham\u0131m\u0131z \u00e7ox f\u0259rqli \u015f\u0259raitl\u0259rd\u0259 m\u00fcbariz\u0259 apar\u0131r v\u0259 n\u0259tic\u0259d\u0259 \u00e7ox f\u0259rqli insanlara \u00e7evrilirik. Ham\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n h\u0259yat yolu f\u0259rqlidir. M\u00fcqayis\u0259 etm\u0259k ancaq v\u0259 ancaq m\u0259ni \u00f6z h\u0259yat yolumdan uzaqla\u015fd\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131.<\/li>
  • X\u0259yallar\u0131ma sahib \u00e7\u0131xmamaqdan.. Q\u0259bul edir\u0259m, b\u0259z\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259 o c\u0259sar\u0259ti g\u00f6rm\u00fcr\u0259m. O \u00f6zg\u00fcv\u0259ni hiss etmir\u0259m. \u201cG\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n nec\u0259 olacaq, bird\u0259n al\u0131nmaz, bird\u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 olmaz\u201d dey\u0259-dey\u0259 x\u0259yallar\u0131m\u0131 he\u00e7 g\u00fcn i\u015fi\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259d\u0259n i\u00e7imd\u0259 \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcr\u0259m. Halbuki x\u0259yallar ger\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259\u015fdirilm\u0259y\u0259 layiqdi..<\/li>
  • Ke\u00e7mi\u015fd\u0259 ya\u015famaqdan.. \u201cKa\u015f bunu des\u0259ydim, ka\u015f bunu ets\u0259ydim, ka\u015f ki.. ka\u015f ki..\u201d. Bu \u201cka\u015f ki\u201d-l\u0259r b\u00fct\u00fcn ya\u015fama h\u0259v\u0259simi al\u0131rd\u0131 \u0259limd\u0259n. N\u0259yis\u0259 d\u00fcz\u0259ltm\u0259yin ya da d\u0259yi\u015fdirm\u0259yin yolu \u201cka\u015f ki\u201dd\u0259n ke\u00e7mir ax\u0131.. Ya\u015fanan o an \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259m v\u0259 ya bacar\u0131\u011f\u0131m o \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 davranma\u011fa kifay\u0259t edirdi. Bunu d\u0259rk etm\u0259dikc\u0259 ba\u015f ver\u0259nl\u0259rd\u0259n d\u0259rs \u00e7\u0131xartmaq bacar\u0131\u011f\u0131m da inki\u015faf etmirdi.<\/li>
  • \u00d6z\u00fcml\u0259 m\u00fcharib\u0259 etm\u0259kd\u0259n.. M\u00fcbahis\u0259 yox, m\u00fcnaqi\u015f\u0259 yox, m\u0259hz m\u00fcharib\u0259 etm\u0259k. Bilirs\u0259n, \u0259ziz oxucu, \u0259n yorucusu da el\u0259 budur. Ruhum \u00e7ox yorulurdu.. \u00d6z\u00fcml\u0259 m\u00fcharib\u0259 etm\u0259kl\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc incitm\u0259kl\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fcm-\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc yormaqla he\u00e7 bir n\u0259tic\u0259 \u0259ld\u0259 ed\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259ciyimi \u00f6yr\u0259ndim. \u00d6z\u00fcml\u0259 s\u00fclh i\u00e7ind\u0259 olmadan h\u0259yat\u0131n m\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259k ist\u0259dikl\u0259rini g\u00f6r\u0259 bilmirdim..<\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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    \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tBel\u0259, \u0259ziz oxucu, bunlar da m\u0259nim h\u0259l\u0259 ki vaz ke\u00e7dikl\u0259rim.. Z\u0259nnimc\u0259, vaz ke\u00e7m\u0259k he\u00e7 d\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 pis hal deyil. D\u00fczd\u00fcr, qazanma\u011fa, n\u0259s\u0259 \u0259ld\u0259 etm\u0259y\u0259 kodlanm\u0131\u015f varl\u0131qlar\u0131q. Amma, b\u0259z\u0259n vaz ke\u00e7m\u0259k d\u0259 qazand\u0131r\u0131r. S\u0259n d\u0259 \u00f6z vaz ke\u00e7dikl\u0259rini m\u0259niml\u0259 b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015fs\u0259n, sevin\u0259r\u0259m.
    Sevgil\u0259 qal!\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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    P.S. beynimd\u0259ki q\u0259libl\u0259ri q\u0131rmaqda m\u0259n\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259klik ed\u0259n sa\u00e7lar\u0131ma t\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr edir\u0259m. \u00dcmid edir\u0259m, sa\u00e7lar\u0131m tezlikl\u0259 m\u0259niml\u0259 bar\u0131\u015far v\u0259 sa\u011flam \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 uzanar..<\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    \u018ftrafda ba\u015f ver\u0259n h\u0259r \u015feyi bir-biril\u0259 \u0259laq\u0259l\u0259ndirm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7ox b\u00f6y\u00fck mara\u011f\u0131 olan beynim sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131n uzanmamas\u0131ndan da bir \u0259laq\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xartm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. M\u0259n d\u0259 beynimin bu analizini d\u0259y\u0259rl\u0259ndirdim. V\u0259 vaz ke\u00e7dim..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1519,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[32,4,3],"class_list":["post-1550","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-frqindlik","tag-frqindlik","tag-kpnkeffekti","tag-kicikaddimlarboyukdyisikliklr","entry","has-media"],"yoast_head":"\nVaz ke\u00e7dim | Khadija Zade<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u018ftrafda ba\u015f ver\u0259n h\u0259r \u015feyi bir-biril\u0259 \u0259laq\u0259l\u0259ndirm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7ox b\u00f6y\u00fck mara\u011f\u0131 olan beynim sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131n uzanmamas\u0131ndan da bir \u0259laq\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xartm\u0131\u015fd\u0131..\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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